Sensei Angela
(But wait!!!….WE are Kung Fu Guys!)
After many years of experimenting with this information, there are only a few things I can share with any level of experiential certainty: The forces have a dark sense of humor!!! You never get what you think!!! And If you really give yourself to following your inner-authority, or your body’s consciousness, one by one every belief you have, all of your “sacred cows” will likely be challenged in the fires of experience. From what I have seen, it is through being radical in your approach of following your body’s guidance “To whatever end” that you develop this wonderful commodity known as the “watcher” or “passenger” consciousness. For me at least, IT IS THE VERY FACT THAT THE MIND HAS AN OPINION, and it is the “SEEING” of the mind trying to argue for or hold a position, about who you are, what you should be doing, whom you should be with etc., that shines the light of consciousness and illuminates my process, of not listening, or at least not acting on anything that arises from a mental dialogue inside my head. So when someone or something comes along that can actually get my mind off balance and get it revved up arguing for its position, it is a note worthy event… ENTER SENSEI ANGELA: Apparently, an agent of the forces, placed precariously in my path, to destroy whatever random clinging beliefs I had regarding martial arts…and the beginning of one more beautifully orchestrated cosmic joke.
See, the problem is, I actually studied martial arts for some pretty good chunks of time during my life, especially in childhood, and apparently had some old beliefs that needed challenging. The funniest part about discovering I had these beliefs is that I truly had no idea I had them!!! I was both surprised and suspicious when my body’s awareness (spleen) lit up to begin the study of Kendo (The way of the sword) last year and although I am continually injuring myself, my body continues to say go, so I go…..it really is like, that to be flying along in this form, if my body says it is correct, then it is correct. As best I can, I give no further thought to my actions…the form simply becomes fluid with the ways of the force, and I follow the body’s intelligence and allow whatever is about to unfold, to unfold. “I” reside as the presence that watches the experience, with the same detached amusement that many people may experience while watching TV …and although I was quite sure I was done with any formal training in martial arts…when my body lit up to Kendo, I just went along with the body’s guidance to SEE what would happen. As Kendo actually is the art of the Samurai/or in pop culture, the Jedi, and since I have shared for years that I see the undertaking and study of one’s Human Design as similar to the study of martial arts, something to be practiced daily, in every action and honed like any lifelong art, I guess my mind just accepted it without too much of a fight.
However, this had nothing to do with the joke the forces had in store for me. It all started innocently enough, when, a few months ago I was driving through town, and saw a sign advertising a new martial arts class, and my spleen (my inner authority) hit and it hit hard, so I immediately turned into the complex and walked up to the gym. There was no one there so I got the phone number and sat in my car for a bit; trying to figure out what the hell the spleen was saying….that is what is so funny and still perplexing to me about having splenic or intuitive authority/guidance. I can get a “hit” or a clear signal, in my body that I cannot ignore and at the same time have no idea what the hell it’s saying is healthy for me!!! So I call and speak with the instructor Angela? And again as I was talking with her my body is “ringing” and saying THIS is your direction….and at least, so far, each time I go to the gym I feel a ringing of health through my body…even as I write this I feel the vibration….very trippy!!!
So what I knew, or “thought” I knew about martial arts was that the teacher was supposed to be an old cranky dude, with white hair and a Fu Man Chu beard. There were supposed to be obscure riddles that you may never understand….and if you where distracted, even for a moment…the old cranky dude hit you with a stick. Now as you might suspect, Angela, or Sensei Angela as I have begun calling her, is not an old dude with a Fu Man Chu beard, she is not cranky and I have not seen her hit anybody with a stick!!! Not yet at least!!! On the contrary she is young, pretty and nice (although I would NOT want to piss her off!!) and I am convinced that she is actually KALI “The Destroyer of Worlds”….at least as it relates to my mind’s perception of what it “thought” it knew with regards to martial arts. Over the last few months she has delivered numerous death blows to my already surrendered and fairly beaten down mind…and has provided a constant stream of entertainment for the a passenger or the witness. I find myself completely intrigued, at least in this present moment, with an art that my mind would have NEVER EVER let me be involved with. For me, this is the greatest thrill of living from my body’s authority, to just suspend all belief and let the ride take you wherever it’s taking you….and if my mind’s complaining, that’s just some added entertainment, or an “In flight movie” for the “Trip”.
Sometimes during class it is all I can do to keep from laughing out loud, as on several occasions I have actually heard what sounded like train wrecks or glass shattering in my head. I have actually had images of steam coming out of my ears. So many of the techniques and instruction are completely counter to the way I learned in the past. So, not only am I trying to learn a new form, I am also trying to forget what I thought I knew about another form. For me, at least, the unlearning seems harder than the learning, especially while I have a screaming child inside my head. Learning this new style on one level, is demanding physically, and yet on another, it has been such an incredible challenge to stay present as I watch the internal monologues and dialogues doing their best to disrupt my focus. It’s as if the forces have once again brewed up the “PERFECT STORM” of circumstance to really test my “PASSENGER” , as I sit and “WITNESS” this whole story unfold: Here is my body or form having to be really present and unlearn in order to learn, and at the same time I have this box on top of my head screaming how not okay it is, with what is happening….and then there is me…the one that has the ability to watch this whole movie. Talk about awareness training, I could have never comprehended, much less orchestrated a Jedi training course at this level!!
However, the culminating moment, the moment which turned the spotlight on the true madness that resides between my ears, occurred one day while I was watering the plants in my yard. While I was doing some mindless chores, I became aware of an argument going on in my head, and although there is nothing new about that, there was a new tactic or strategy being used by the mind to try and get me to go along with its program, and when I caught it, I actually busted into laughter!!! My mind, obviously aware that I no longer let it make decisions about my life, had raised the stakes, switching from its usual monologue of “I am” or “You are” and was now hitting me with “WE are”. As I tuned into the mental chatter I actually caught my mind saying: “BUT…. WAIT!!! WE can’t study this new style, WE ARE KUNG FU GUYS!!!!” at that moment I just stopped in my tracks, became fully present in the body and sat back with a smirk on my face while I watched and listened to mind making its best argument for why I could NOT do something. Now, I have had a lot of memorable moments in my process, but this was definitely a peak experience, as I stood in my yard watching all of this take place, watching my mind not only try to influence me, and tell who I was and what was correct for ME, but in addition, now trying to get me to join the WE gang…“WE can do this”, “WE can’t do that”…. etc…..OOOHHHH BOOOYYYY….I am still wondering who this WE IS? And how did WE get in my head?
So guys, wherever you are at with your process, please be aware that everything, and I do mean everything will likely be called into question as you evolve through your journey. How could it not? Most, if not all decisions that people make are made partially if not solely based on the mind’s opinions. Then you meet Human Design and if it is for YOU, you learn exactly how to bypass or suspend thought and access your own body’s intelligence to make decisions about your life. YOU align with the same intelligence, which keeps your heart pumping and regulates thousands of other functions that are well beyond conscious thought. You get to SEE, really see how your spaceship was designed to work, and through your own experimentation, verify the relative truth, or not, to yourself. Then you can begin your own lifelong journey of self discovery, Just YOU and the mechanics of YOUR form… no mantras, no gurus, and no beliefs required.
If this ride’s for you, then buckle your seat belt Jedi…because it is definitely NOT what you THINK!!!!
Aloha John
